Porn Doesn’t Need Loading Bars

Everyone’s seen the gag of something sexy comes on tv and the kid’s parents covering their eyes while blushing was one I’d seen a lot. More often than not, they know about sex and porn long before they’re ever fully exposed to it, and I feel like all the running around to shield kids is kinda wrong. Not only does making something forbidden increase the appeal (look up any era in American history that tried to limit something and there’s ALWAYS increased interest and eventual pushback), but it also leaves people unprepared for dealing with something like sex in a natural manner. Case in point, today’s letter:

Dear Mr Promiscuous,

My friends recommend watching porn as a masturbation aid, but it just doesn’t seem sexy to me. I much prefer using a hot and steamy romance book to get my libido going. Am I a freak?

-Just Doesn’t Get Porn

Dear JDGP

Let’s start with clearing up the little misconception that porn is just the video stuff on the internet. Porn is defined as the depiction of sexual subject matter for the purpose of causing sexual excitement; there are a LOT of things that can be considered pornography. If the intent of whatever it is your watching or reading is to get you aroused, then it’s pornography. So congratulations! You’re already taking your friends advice and using porn to help you get off.

Obviously, they’re talking about video porn, and you’re more of an erotica (or erotic stories) person. It’s a personal beef of mine that people tend to use words to mean a specific thing when it’s an umbrella term. Not that there’s anything wrong with calling lots of things “porn”, but I feel like people have stopped realizing that just because there’s not a visual component doesn’t mean that it isn’t still porn.

People are a lot more familiar with video porn, especially in the internet age, due to its prevalent depiction in pop culture. For every story about someone needing to hide their steamy romance novel than they just so happened to be reading in the bath, there’s ten more about guys needing to clear their internet search history to keep people from finding about whatever fetish they feel like making people feel dirty about for the sake of a joke. Sure, both have that stigma that pornography is a dirty secret that will make you seem lesser in the sight of society, but you see the video porn depicted a lot more often, so it’s natural that people will think of video porn before books.

If your preference is more for immersion, then a good story where you can imagine the sex happening to you will be much more appealing than simply watching people fuck. Reading about those sensations and putting yourself in that mindset can also help if you have problems getting your thoughts quiet enough to enjoy masterbation without getting distracted. Erotica allows you to feel like you’re having the experience, while visual porn makes it more like watching someone else’s experience (which can be its own thrill). A lot of this simply comes down to the wiring of your sexuality. Whether you’re more turned on by seeing, hearing (something that’s a big thing for me), or being able to place yourself mentally into the erotic acts can be drastically different from person to person, so don’t be discouraged if one type of stimulus just doesn’t work for you.

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with preferring a nice, steamy romance novel that you can sink yourself into over video pornography where you can take in the sights and sounds of other people’s enjoyment. So, no, you’re not a freak for liking the stories more than the pictures. You still get satisfaction, arousal, and sexual enjoyment from them.

Hoping it helps to show that “Different Strokes for Different Folks” is pretty literal,

Mr. Promiscuous

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