I’ve been writing on this blog for half a year and I’m still surprised about random creepy DMs. I mean, I understand that the topic of sex is bound to bring in a whole host of assumptions but this is ridiculous. Every time I see someone post about the random-ass DMs that they get on Twitter, my brain just can’t grasp what leads people to just spout that kinda crap and then get offended when no one wants to talk to them. So, I figured that instead of just sitting here shocked, I should try and address the issue in a constructive way:
To the person about to send a message to a sex blogger/writer/worker/basically anyone,
Please stop. Stop and take a look at the message that you’ve typed up and really think about how this is going to come off.
Look, I understand. You really like this person and you want to show your interest, but starting off with “Hey, do you like to fuck” is not the way. All it does is point out that your interest is purely in what they can do for you and not in themselves. It’s also unbelievably rude. You’re also making the recipient of that sort of attention uncomfortable and angry because it’s a degrading.
If you’re still unsure about how to go about interacting with someone that you may like, try the classic “Hi” or “Hello” followed by a reason you wanted to private message that person. Being fairly new to Twitter myself, I can understand why you might think simply saying Hi and starting a conversation in private might just be the way of things, but there is a sort of etiquette to this. You start with commenting or liking posts that you find interesting and after a few positive interactions then you might move to DMing them. For more on that step, and a good look at this interaction from the other side, check out this blog post by Kate Sloan on this exact situation.
In fact, checking out sex bloggers for what they have to say and listening to it will help overall in interacting with people like…well, people. They’re people with lives, schedules, deadlines and bad days just like everyone else. Just because they talk about sex, doesn’t mean that the rest doesn’t apply and does NOT mean that you get a free pass to skip social steps and cues. That still makes you a creep and an asshole.
Again, Please Stop
On a lighter note, I’m absolutely loving the sex blogger community. They are all wonderful beacons of light that just radiate positivity and generosity, even to fairly new people like myself. I didn’t really know what to expect when I started writing, but now I’m just excited to keep going and help bring my own unique perspective to as many people as I can. So, again, Thank you for following, reading, and (if you have) sharing what I’ve written and what I’ll write in the future.
Also, if you have you’re own “Avoid Creepy DM” advice, or want to converse about how else to properly interact with other people who share their interests, feel free to comment below!
Have a great and not-creepy day,